Martha’s Impeccable Track Record: An Imperative to Differ

Dear Martha,

Many have undertaken the unnecessary path to venerate you as Mother Karua since your declaration of higher political ambition. I find this a contradiction in terms since your mothering ability in your family itself is questionable. But that is something we may discuss later, if you are willing.

For today, I am compelled to write you this important letter. Kindly take time to read and give serious thought to the pertinent matters raised herein. I know that you have a busy schedule, especially now that you have embarked on the presidential campaigns that is still four years away from us. But again, you are the justice – or is it injustice minister – you can change the constitution when you want, right?Anyway, read carefully as you prayerfully consider abandoning your premature ambition for Kenya’s top office.

Martha, I have told you before but it seems you don’t take advice – unsolicited or sought. You will not be Kenya’s president..No! Hapana. Neither will the other old folks and noisemakers, and comrades in theft – Tinga, UK, Ruto, Mudavadi, Saitoti, Wiper. None of you qualifies on any ground…well, I take that back, only age and recent compromises disqualifies Tinga.

But as for you Martha, your fate was sealed way back when you compromised your personal morality.

Your problem is that of confused morality – almost somewhat hypocritic. Reminds me of Odili in Chinua Achebe’s “Man of the People.” Quite a moralising character – running around castigating Chief Nanga for embezzling public funds and womanizing. True, it is – Chief Nanga was a disgrace – very immoral and uncultured – just like many of your fellow colleagues in the cabinet and parliament. They steal both money, maize and oil. They also murder and rape – literally.

Yet that doesn’t make you saintly either – only a superficial juxtapositioning by your myopic supporters portray you as saint. I haven’t heard of any case of inordinate embezzlement of public funds on your side but I can’t rule that out either. But is embezzlement of public funds the only criteria for defining bad governance?

I beg to differ. You have in the past made serious mistakes that compromise your sexual morality and regard to family… This tells us much about your values. You see, the fact that you abandoned your former husband in your characteristic fit and and rage – maybe because you argued on some thing- whatever it was – important or not (thats your problem – people disagree in their marriages but still make up for it) is reason enough to suspect that you could easily abandon Kenyans if the citizenry proved adulterous or idolatrous ( I use the two words to stand for political abandonment). Your inability to tone your language and respond with a level of diplomacy obviously qualifies you more as a college team cheerleader than a CEO of any professional organisation.

Worst still, is the previous media reports and rumour that is still going round to date that you have an ilicit affair with a religious leader who is supposed to be a celibate. You see Martha, that complicates the situation more for you. Everybody knows that at one time or the other every human being wants to love and be loved. But they also understand that this love factor comes with responsibility. You can’t have your cake and eat it. If you want to enjoy the benefit of sexual relationship you must take the conventional and culturally accepted path of pure matrimony. But you see dear Martha, it has been universally accepted through history that man is the head of the family. Therefore, engaging in holy matrimony means that you take your rightful place as woman – a wife and mother – in the family. This prevails regardless of your power and stature in the public domain. If you think I am joking ask madam Specioza Kazibwe, the former vice president of Uganda who still received a few slaps on the chick from the husband despite being surrounded by state bodyguards.

I know this is tough for you and you would rather die than submit to the authority of a man. And I agree with your attitude and character and that is why I am advising you to forget about it completely.

If you cannot aptly sought out petty family conflicts, how on earth are you supposed to solve an international border conflict? If you have failed to aptly run the tiniest social unit, how will you run a nation? If you can’t stomach divergent opinions among your peers – how much more are you handicapped in handling media and public scrutiny and criticism?

Education is not the only qualification for a good governor – in fact experience tells us the opposite. If Amin governed Uganda with absolutely nothing between his ears, I bet even Kalembe Ndile qualifies with at least a higher degree of good sense than most of you. He has a better Wanjiku eye view – a pertinent ingredient that is obviously lacking among the current political elite of our day. I believe that with determination and good advice he would do better. And this does not obliterate his buffoonery – I am just using this extreme example to draw a severe parallel and show you how far from the track you have run – otherwise, apart from being comical, I don’t know what else is in Kalembe. Yet even as you question his grasp of pertinent issues that pertain to public policy and governance – you and I know that that is the reason governments employ technocrats – or didn’t Moi and Kenyatta employ the most brilliant of technocrats to think and write speeches for them – unfortunately for both, they killed and maimed most of these people.

The zenith of this open letter is to draw your attention to the fallacy and emptiness of your hypocritic behaviour, at least as it seems to me. While you seem to be strong in opposing institutional corruption, something that I laud, your weakness lies in your partial understanding of morality. Just like the Odili character in Achebe’s novel, you may publicly condemn corruption. You may decline to take bribes and kickbacks (though I highly doubt that) but in the night you are running around compromising the same morality that you claim to defend. Odili, castigated Chief the honourable Nanga for corruption and immorality. Yet he had been sleeping around with his college sweetheart, slept with the white man’s wife and was running hysterically after Chief Nanga’s bride. Thus even though he refused to taking Nanga’s bribe, his morals remain absolutely questionable and to me that abrogates his fight for good governance. For what is good governance with wanting morality? Ask Bill or King David – they have a story to tell.

Since you declared your intent to run for the highest office in the land, I have followed your supporters with bemusement. I have noticed that your candidacy draws its largest support from a bunch of mature (I mean agewise – most seem to me to be mentally and psychologically unstable) single women. This is a worrying trend for it seems to suggest that disregard for the social institution is after all a great idea. It in fact almost portrays it as fashionable and trendy. Martha, a good woman is the one that show younger women how to care for the family. Even hens know this better.

Martha, what I am saying is that if you want to run for the presidency first make your family an example. We are not willing to be experimented on anymore, as you can see the grand coalition experiment is after all a fiasco.

Please note that of all the aspiring candidates, I saw you worthy of this advice. The remaining wannabes are non-starters. UK needs to graduate from thuggery and drug addiction, and Ruto must equally grow up from thuggery and hypocrisy. Saitoti, like Raila has reached political menopause, but most importantly he is a bitter man whose only goal is to prove a point to Moi. Mudavadi has never been his own man and he shares with Saitoti the heavy burden of the goldenberg scandal. Wiper is a non-starter – he stands for nothing or do you know of any? He is also a hypocrite and a coward. And of course who are Wetangula and Bifwoli? Tinga still seems to be the constant revolutionary but again as I have mentioned, recent political compromise and age are his political undoing. Or wasn’t it said that “peace whenever possible, truth at all times.”

Other things you need to work on Martha include, interpersonal relationship, communication, deportment (try to put a smile), “winning by losing” – I mean you don’t have to have the last word in a debate – I know you are a woman but so are the others in parliament – Sally, Jebii, Mirugi, Laboso etc. They state their points and move on – but as for you, you are unnecessarily irritating. Once in while go to Church and learn one or two hymns (they are soothing to the broken heart). Seek a therapist and deal with your past – it helps to be free.

Finally, we just want to start afresh. All the current political office holders should be banned from holding any other public office come 2012. Give Kenya a clean slate and we will build from there.

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