The things I like in a Woman and What I Wish They Knew

It is obviously no surprise to you that men and women are wired differently. We all recognize some of these differences, but others often hide in plain sight.

I love a woman who smiles because she makes it easier for me to approach her by conveying an attitude of confidence and playfulness. I understand that since many women are fearful of giving men the wrong impression they frequently guard their smiles. While that approach is safer, it inadvertently sends the wrong message. In addition, smiling is a sign of acceptance. Men often need some signal that it is safe to approach a woman before they’re willing to a risk introducing themselves .

I love a woman who takes her time to listen. Men rarely get listened to, at least not beyond a few minutes. Most of the time a few minutes is all men really need. But since most men hate to be rejected, it is easier for them to keep conversations superficial. They expect most women to want to talk, rather than be willing to listen. An irresistible woman is that kind that listens with her eyes (looks at me while I am talking) as well as her ears. Such women intrigue me. She is the kind that will eventually marry.

I also love a woman who dresses femininely. You know, like all men, I too am really visual. However, women often forget just how helpless guys are to what they see. The right visual stimulation can hypnotize a man. Women hear this and often become fearful. They mistakenly believe that men only notice perfect women. Forget perfect! If you really want to be noticed by men – at least by me – think colors, dresses and curves.

I basically like any woman who has that soft and cuddly quality. It isn’t that I don’t find women attractive in pants or when they are dressed comfortably. They are just not that easily noticeable. It doesn’t catch their eye like earrings or long hair does.

On the other hand, a powerfully dressed woman (think lots of red) makes most men think of sex, or not notice her at all. She may have a soft side, but if men can’t see it, they often don’t know it exists. The more feminine (softer) a woman dresses, the more men she will attract.

In addition to these, women need to understand a few more things about men – at least about me if the want to.

Most often I would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected. I can handle a woman’s sense of lovelessness than disrespect. Sometimes I feel insecure. Just don’t make it obvious to me that I am not cutting it in life – not just at work, but at home. I feel good when a woman I love tells me how great I am. I think sometimes I just need some affirmation.

I also struggle with visual temptation. What I mean is that I instantly respond to visual images when it comes to women. And, this doesn’t just mean that I have wandering eyes. I am sure even the godliest husband cannot avoid noticing a woman who dresses in a way that draws attention to her body. Even if it is just a glance, these visual images sometimes reappear without any warning. I can of course choose whether to dwell on these images and memories or dismiss them, but I can’t control when these images appear. So normally I run away from them like a fast moving object. When I visit friends who have seductive literature I ask them to store away their magazines till I am gone. I also have a firewall installed in my computer and my friend keeps me accountable on matters of sexuality.

If you are my woman, you need to know that I care about your appearance. I don’t mean that I am clothed with a supermodel mentality. All I really want is to know that my super nyako (lady) is making an effort to take care of herself.

Finally, I want her to know how much I love her. Really, I am seldom sure of how to express this, and sometimes I am just shy and naïve but the truth is that in my heart, I wish she could know how much I love her.